Void

It felt weird being in the presence of God again. Seven years and nothing had changed. The walls of St. Martha had not aged a day, and the symbol of the cross still hung above the elevated ground, the altar of God.

Efua sat quietly in the congregation, staring at him.

He still sat there, in the front row beside his wife, with a pair of glasses and a smug look on his face. When she left the church seven years ago, his eyes were perfectly fine. Now, as she watched him struggle to read a verse from his Bible, the same Bible he went about with years ago, she tried to hide a smile. He was getting old.

Something about being back caused a lump in her throat.

The service took long hours. Or was that how it had always been? She wasn't really sure. She looked at him again and sighed. It was possible that he never thought of her, that he never missed what they had, that he would not recognize her. She had a lot to say to him. With deep breaths and a racing heart, she walked slowly to where he sat.

She still remembered his after-service ritual of kneeling at the altar for some minutes before leaving the church. She'd stay back and pretend to clean the church.. waiting for him to finish his ritual and take her with him to his office for counselling. The kind of counselling that she liked.. that required very few words and soothing actions.

The church was empty, just like it used to be. This time he wasn't kneeling. He was still seated, his head bowed.

"Pastor Daniel." She said. He raised his head slowly and for the first time, his eyes met hers.

"Efua."

She smiled. He remembered her. At least she didn't have to remind him of who she was, what they were.

"It's been seven years. I.. I didn't think I'd see you again."

"I didn't think I'd be back here either."

"Why are you here?" His eyes were twitching.

"What happened between us..."

"....was a mistake." He cut in.

"A mistake? No. It didn't happen once, it didn't happen twice. You know that."

"It doesn't matter."

"Well I think it does!!" She yelled.

"Do not raise your voice in the house of the Lord"

"You slept with me every Sunday for years, inside these walls. How can you talk to me about what I should and should not do in THE HOUSE OF THE LORD?"

He was silent.

"I am not here to cause trouble. I swore to you that I'd never tell a soul about what we shared."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm getting married. Next week. That's all I came to say."

The words she rehearsed over and over were stuck on her throat.

"Congratulations". His eyes dropped. Efua wished he would look at her, so she could search his eyes. For something.. anything. She needed to know if he felt her absence like she did his. She needed to know if he missed her like she missed him.

But his eyes were blank when they met hers again.

Void of meaning, void of emotion.







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